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"Soit glorieuse, mon ange!"
Dear Friends,
Those of you who have seen “Bloodline” may have wondered about the dedication at the end:
“Dedicated, with love, to Jolie Maria Golden-Valtierra 1973 – 2005”
Jolie is my beloved daughter, and today is her birthday. It has been nearly four years now since she passed away from a blood clot on the day we started official production of “Bloodline.”
I struggled terribly through that first year, and, on the anniversary of her death, May 22, I was in London for a planned meeting with representatives of the Priory of Sion. Alone in my hotel room on the night of May 21, I found it impossible to sleep, thinking of my dear girl. So, as the clock passed midnight and into the 22nd of May, I began to write.
May 22, 2006
One year ago today, my world changed forever. I changed forever when I lost my funny, beautiful, loving, kind and crazy daughter, Jolie Maria. Things will never be the same for me or for all those who love and miss her, not the least of whom, her three amazing children, Edward, Liliana and Benjamin. Each of us must now go on, honoring the love she showed to all of us and the kindness she showed family, friends and strangers alike.
Jolie had a premonition of her early death. She told me so a few times throughout her life. I think she was about eight years old when she first said, “Mom, I’m not going to live to be very old. I’ll never live to be 35.” She probably only said it maybe three or four times over the years, and each time, I would chastise her, saying something to the effect of, “Honey, don’t say that! Don’t even give that thought any energy!” And she would just shrug and say, “Okay, Mom, but I’m just telling you.” To a mother, it was a thought too horrible to be entertained.
But the morning I found her lifeless body, it immediately struck me that, on some level, I had always known this was the way it would play out for us, and that, in her way, consciously or unconsciously, she had been trying to prepare me for it. Oh, my Darling Girl, I now thank you for that.
But even knowing that it was somehow in the plan for her to have such a short stay here with us, cannot take away the heartache from me, her Dad, her Mammy and Papa, her brother Devin, and those three children she loved so very much.
So, thank you, my friends, for the kindness and concern you have shown me through the past year. I know sometimes it’s difficult dealing with someone who has been damaged by such an event, so I cherish your heartfelt prayers and good wishes, and I hope I do not test your patience too much.
For those of you who knew Jolie, I don’t have to tell you what I miss about her. For those of you who didn’t, I wish you could have. She was like sunshine… always shining brightly, always smiling and laughing, no matter how she was suffering.
Oh, she wasn’t perfect… far from it. In fact, some of her life decisions seemed so wacky, they often drove me to distraction. But looking back on it all now, I believe she knew she didn’t have much time and was just trying to pack in as much life as she could. She did it with gusto!
And here’s to my daughter, my child, my sweet, sweet Jolie. . I love you forever and look forward to seeing you again one day when my work here is done. In the meantime, I thank you for staying with us those thirty-two years, and teaching me that love is all that matters.
I wish the whole world knew that, too.
Thank you, my friends, for letting me share my very personal feelings with you on this very special day for me.
Love,
René